Real Talk: Biblical role of a wife

 

What does it look like to be a Christian wife? What society and the Bible says are very different and I've felt challenged recently to make sure I'm taking my advice from scripture, and not from what society expects. If you follow what the Bible says chances are you will be met with more challenge and it often goes against what we're taught today and what we're used to today, however I believe if we follow scripture it will lead to a more fruitful marriage which has God right at the centre of it and that's the type of marriage we should want.

In Proverbs 31:10-31 it shows us what a wife of noble character looks like. I'd encourage you to sit down and read the whole scripture, in this blog I want to pick out certain verses I have found helpful and also challenging.

Verses 10-11: 'She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing'

Aren't these beautiful verses? To her husband she is worth more than expensive jewels and he has full confidence in her. I want to start with an encouragement to both men and women. Men, if you love your wife and allow her to flourish she will grow in such a beautiful way, she will have confidence in your love for her and she will feel empowered to be the wife she longs to be. Women, have confidence that God has called you into your marriage, with God you have the strength and ability to be the wife your husband wants and needs you to be, but also the wife you want to be. I don't know about you, but I want to be a wife who is confident in my marriage, who knows I have been created to succeed in this area of my life.

Verse 12: 'She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life'

Gosh this verse challenges me, do I bring my husband good every day? The honest answer is no, there are days where I can be grumpy, there are days I can say things I then regret. We are all human, so to be able to say you bring your spouse good things every day is probably reaching for an unattainable goal, however I still believe it's something good to aim for, even if you never quite get there. Whether that's choosing not to engage in that argument, or choosing to let something go that he didn't do quite right. In our marriages we need to approach them with a mindset of creating goodness, not creating harm.

Verse 15: 'She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her servants'

I want to be clear, I'm not saying as wives we should wake up at 4am and be the one who does all the cooking for our family. In Biblical times women's work was primarily at home, whereas today most women go out to work. What I want us to take from this scripture is that this wife had a purpose and she was a provider. Being a wife takes work, I'm not a mother yet but I know it takes work, we need to trust in God's strength to allow us to be proactive providers for our husbands and children. An example in my home, I don't work Wednesday's and I'm usually home from work before my husband on my work days, so I am the one who does the majority of the cleaning and cooking. At times it can feel a bit too much, and when it does my husband is always quick to offer help. However I find purpose and a sense of pride in doing something for my home. 

Verse 20: 'She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy'

What a beautiful verse, a wife of noble character is generous and wants to show love and provision not only to those in her home, but to those in real need. Being a wife and definitely being a mother requires sacrifice. We can't be loving wives if our mission is about our own joy, I have found when I serve my husband and those around me first it brings me great joy and allows me to be the best version of myself. I also read this verse and the word hospitality comes to mind. When I imagine myself as the "perfect" wife, one of the visions that comes to mind is a home full of people and them feeling at peace, welcomed, well fed and having fun. It's a challenge for all of us to sacrifice and serve others before ourselves.

Verse 30: 'Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised'

I have to remind myself daily that my accomplishments as a wife are not based on outward appearances to others. Only my husband knows how I love him, how I work hard for our home and how one day I will love and serve our children. However one thing that everyone can see is a woman who fears the Lord, a woman who loves God and wants to live her life for Him. In order to be the best wives we can be we need the help of Jesus. I remind myself daily that my marriage is an example of the relationship between Jesus and the Church, and this challenges me to make sure I'm pouring into my marriage and allowing it to grow and be a witness to others.

I hope this blog has challenged you, I know it's challenged me. If you personally struggle to be the wife you long to be I would encourage you to read Proverbs 31:10-31 every day until you start to notice your heart softening towards the scripture, and also towards your husband. There are certain verses that stand out to me as areas I need to work on and I'll be challenging myself to read those verses on a regular basis.

Next Blog: 5 Holy Habits I do every week