How we're preparing for our future family

 I've shared in previous blogs that Andy and I want to have a family one day, however as always there is a lot to think about and a lot to plan and prepare. We both do enjoy living in the moment, but I'd be lying if I said we're not planners and that we don't think about our future. Personally I want a home I feel is appropriate to raise a family, I also want us to be financially prepared for the cost of raising a family and we also want to be in the best health we can be in, as it will be a physical challenge, especially for me. So what are we doing to prepare for our future family?

1. Moving to a bigger family home

I'm writing this blog on the day our home has gone on the market. We've been looking at numerous houses in areas we'd feel happy raising a family and we're excited for this next chapter. We decided to move house for two main reasons, firstly financially it makes sense to move before I'm pregnant, on maternity leave or when we have young children. Secondly we feel we're outgrowing our current home with just the two of us, as we work from home and enjoy hosting, so we want a bigger home for those activities as well. This journey is new for the both of us, we do currently have a mortgage, however this was my husbands first home and so neither of us have experienced what it's like looking for a home that we plan to be in for at least a decade or more. We're excited for this new chapter and are trusting God's guidance in finding a suitable home where we feel at peace.

Top Tip: We inquired how much we could borrow from the bank based on our current income, we discovered that if we waited to get a loan after having children we'd likely get a smaller loan as they do take your expenditure into account. So if you are considering moving one day for a growing family it might be worth inquiring now to see what your options would be, depending on what life stage you're in.

2. Making steps to financially be prepared for children

I recently inquired at work to see how much maternity pay I'd get, and I've got to admit I was quite shocked at how you manage on a lot less money when you've got the costs of a new baby. We did some research and discovered from birth to age 18 one child could cost a couple almost £170,000! That's almost £787 per month which is insane and I'm hoping not an accurate figure! With the cost of moving to a bigger home, plus the cost of having a child (maybe even two) we have realised we need to be making appropriate steps to get financially prepared for a family. Thankfully Andy and I are sensible with our money and so a lot of the steps you need to take we've already got in place, but there's still a lot more to do. We're thinking about our salary's, we're thinking about our future side hustles and business ideas etc. We are figuring out numerous ways we can afford our hope of having children one day. We know that whether we can have children or not that we want to create a lifestyle where we can host, be generous and not struggle with debt. We both are very blessed that God has provided for us in so many ways and we will continue to trust His direction and steward our money well. 

Top Tip: research the costs of the lifestyle you know you'll need for raising a family. For example Andy and I have researched the house costs, the overall costs of children, potential educational needs and what that could cost. You need to ask yourself 'what kind of life do I want in 10 years time?' and then make the appropriate financial steps to reach that goal. 

3. Creating healthy routines in our life

Personally for me there is the possibility of having the operation, recovering and then shortly after getting pregnant. I'm not saying that will happen, firstly it's out of our hands and we don't know what struggles we could face, plus we may decide we want more time after my recovery before starting a family. However there is the potential things may go in that direction and as someone who has experienced the challenges of illness I can't imagine having to experience that whilst also carrying a child. At the moment Andy and I are trying to make exercise a priority, I enjoy going to the gym with my friend as I'm an extrovert, whereas Andy goes on runs by himself as he's an introvert. We also do our best to eat a well balanced diet, while still enjoying the food we love. I'm aware that my body could react differently as I'll have a stent in my heart and I'll be a high risk pregnancy, so I'm trying to do everything I can do now to make sure I'm in the best health I can be for potential future pregnancies. If I'm honest regardless of our future plans I always want to make sure I'm looking after my health. Since I got diagnosed with heart problems at age 24 I've been aware of the importance of doing what you physically can to keep your body as healthy as it can be.

Top Tip: Exercising and eating healthy isn't always natural for me, the temptation to sit on the sofa and eat ice cream pops in my head at least 5 times per week! What I've found helpful is having a reason to exercise and eat well, for me it's been for my heart. I'd encourage you to have a goal and a reason for following a healthy lifestyle, as this makes it easier to do those workouts and eat that healthy meal.

I personally have been challenged in the last year to ask myself 'what type of life do I want to live?'. This could be with regards to more material things, such as what home you live in, how much money you want, where you go on holiday etc. Or it could be addressing 'what type of person do I want to be?'. Taking the time to contemplate life I think is one of the greatest things we can do, not only for our own growth, but for being the best friend, mother, spouse etc...we can be. I'd encourage you to set time aside every week to ponder and pray on the direction of your life. It's easy to plod on and not really think about the future or whether you're feeling joy in life, it's in those moments of quiet reflection that you can envision the life God is calling you to live. 

Next Blog: How is our marriage different today?