How to handle seasons of waiting

As I write this blog I feel like I'm writing it as much for myself as I am for you. I wouldn't say I've fully learnt what it means to wait for something, I have been waiting, but I wouldn't say I've been doing it successfully. I watched a video this morning that was sharing the story of a married couple who had to wait 13 years for their first child, they shared some really insightful pieces of advice and I want to encourage you with their encouragement. Before we begin I want us to ponder on Psalm 130:5 'I wait for the Lord, my soul waits and in His word I hope'. We are not promised an easy life when reading the Bible, but we are promised many things, cling on to those promises, find peace in the Word of God and trust that He is a God who provides, even if it's not the way you'd expect.

1. Our identity cannot be wrapped around the blessings of the Lord

Our identity is not based on what God gives us in life, it is based in Him. When you're identity becomes about being a spouse or becoming a parent it can become very disheartening when those things aren't happening for you. In the Bible it promises us that we will face hardship, it doesn't specifically promise us that we will all become spouses, parents, wealthy, healthy etc...if we cling onto a life with Jesus being great once we receive all these blessings, we are misunderstanding what it means to be a Christian. Do I believe that God wants to bless us, yes I do, but I also believe that God's blessings don't always appear to be the blessings we asked for or longed for. Sadly I have let my disappointment in God put a wedge between myself and God, as I didn't ask for this heart condition, I didn't ask for over 2 years of waiting to even try to get pregnant, but that is the life I'm living. God has blessed me in so many ways and I am daily trying to make the decision to appreciate those blessings, but also remind myself that who I am is not based on what my life looks like from the outside. Who I am, is Christ's daughter, that is and will always be enough.

2. Don't give up believing for the promises of God

I mentioned earlier the importance of clinging onto the promises of God. The couple believed in the Word of God that there is a promise for multiplication and very early in their struggle to conceive the husband received a picture from God that they would be parents. They had to wait 10 years before that picture became a reality, but they never stopped believing in God's promise. Since being young I always believed I would get married, when I was 20 I left a toxic relationship because I felt God saying that this wasn't the man for me. I had to wait 9 years until I got married, I clung onto that promise through years of feeling very lonely and disappointed. I personally am experiencing a similar feeling now, I believe that God's plan for our life is to have children, I'm not sure how long we will have to wait, but I'm holding onto that personal promise. I want to say clearly though that these are God's promises we're believing in, not our own plans or ideas. For years I didn't want to have children and I didn't experience any maternal nature towards children, in the last few years God has been softening my heart, and I believe He is preparing me for when that day comes. However I've also had certain plans which haven't come to fruition and I had to accept that they weren't promises from God, they were my own ideas which God hadn't placed on my heart, sometimes it can be devastating to accept that something we longed for wasn't ever a plan God had for us. But trust me in this, God's plans are always better than anything we could ever plan for ourselves, so cling onto that during those tough seasons of acceptance.

3. Don't be jealous of other people's blessings

I had to acknowledge a hard truth the other day, I don't like the fact that women younger than me are going ahead of me in becoming mothers, when I am still in this waiting season. It can be so painful to see someone receive a blessing you've been praying and longing for years, however it is so important that we don't let jealousy develop. Don't get me wrong, you can find it hard and painful at times, but comparison is never going to bear fruit. If you're like me it will either lead to you putting yourself down and feeling sorry for yourself, or it will mean you put the other person down. Neither outcome is how God calls us to be and it will only result in further pain. Like the encouragement above, everyone receives blessings and God's promises at different times, life shouldn't be a competition with other people.

Here is what I'm trying to implement to help me handle this season of waiting, and please read the word 'trying' - it's a working progress:

- Read the Word of God so that I can receive my identity in Him, so I can get to know God's voice and to read about what God does promise us

- Keep praying for peace in God's timing and for joy when other people receive blessings I'm waiting for

- Be thankful every day for the current blessings I have in my life

- Remind myself that God is faithful, that He's blessed me already and that He keeps His promises

- Find purpose in this season I am in, I'm not a mother, but I am a wife, I'm trying to develop in this area of my life

- Find freedom that even if I didn't receive the things I long for, that God will have new and exciting plans for my life

I know this topic is hard, I know my season of waiting may be nothing compared to your waiting, but as mentioned above it isn't about comparison. So even if you are in a season of waiting please show love and support to those in your life who are experiencing difficult seasons too. I'll be spending my week praying for people's seasons of waiting, so if you feel able please reach out to me and I'll be praying for you. It goes without saying, every message sent to me will stay with me only.

Next Blog: Real Talk: Biblical role of a wife