What I learnt from counselling

 I've recently started counselling to look after my mental well being as I await heart surgery. I recently had my first session, it was really helpful and a lot of what my counselor said I believe is relevant for most people. I don't want to share specifics of what was discussed, but I do want to share some of the tips she gave me and how we can implement them into our lives. Looking after our own well being is crucial, it allows us to have capacity to help and love others and helps us navigate our own lives more effectively. 

Tip #1 - Listen to your body

A lot of the time we carry stress and anxiety without realising, and it can be quietly impacting our quality of life. Our body's often reflect what is happening under the surface, this could be tiredness, irritability, stomach issues, headaches etc. We need to be aware of these visual signs that something internal isn't healthy and needs extra attention. Throughout our days we need to take moments to pay attention to how we're feeling and what those feelings could mean.

Tip #2 - Be aware of what you're letting into your mind

We live in an over stimulated world, our minds are always switched on and if we don't have time to pause we can let our minds become consumed with negative thoughts. My counselor recommended meditation/prayer, yoga and writing down your thoughts, this allows our minds to pause and reflect on what we're thinking. If you then realise you're thoughts are very negative it gives you the opportunity to put things into practice to help yourself change those thought patterns.

Tip #3 - Create healthy boundaries

I explained to my counselor that I often feel overwhelmed as I let all of my life's emotions and demands attack me at once. What I mean by that is that I can be sat watching TV or in bed trying to sleep and I'm thinking about that meeting at work, or that family member I need to catch up with, or that job at home that needs doing. She explained to me that I need to create boundaries, I'm still learning what this looks like. Our minds were not created to hold a thousand thoughts at once, we weren't created to be thinking about the past, present and future. Without healthy boundaries we will always feel overwhelmed, anxious and stressed out. 

Tip #4 - Prioritise your own well being

My counselor shared the importance of putting yourself first at times and looking after your own well being. That doesn't mean we should be self centred and selfish towards people, but what it does mean is that you value your self worth and know you can't be your best self unless you look after your self. This could be picking up a new hobby, taking yourself out for a coffee, looking after your fitness or having introvert time if it's required. You can't pour from an empty cup, we need to make sure our own cups are overflowing so that we can easily help and love those around us.

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